


Unworthy

by Ysabetwordsmith



Series: Love Is For Children [19]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Child Abuse, Confusion, Depression, Despair, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-10 01:37:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18650284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ysabetwordsmith/pseuds/Ysabetwordsmith
Summary: Thor doesn't understand why Odin is never happy with his sons.





	Unworthy

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second freebie for the April 2, 2019 Poetry Fishbowl. You have new prompters and Anonymous to thank. It was inspired by a prompt from . It also fills the "disapproval" square in [my 4-1-19 card](https://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/11814989.html) for the School Days Bingo fest. This poem belongs to the series [Love Is For Children](https://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/9744636.html).

Thor didn't understand  
what they'd done wrong.

Not really.

They'd been good --  
they'd been _trying_  
to be good -- but  
no matter how hard  
they tried, it never  
seemed to be enough.

Thor and Loki had been  
raised as princes.

Playing with the children  
of other nobles, they had met  
Sif and the Warriors Three.

They had grand adventures  
together, all around Asgard.

The boys had tutors from  
the finest institutions vying  
to come to the palace  
and teach them.

Their education had  
spanned centuries of  
history, astronomy,  
war skills, fighting,  
leadership in war,  
and the cultures of  
nine different realms.

For Thor there were  
kingship duties, too,  
and for Loki magic --  
each had abilities and  
responsibilities that  
the other did not.

Even in battle,  
the brothers fought  
differently, as they  
had been trained in  
different styles to suit  
their physical potential.

They had learned  
all the lore of Asgard  
and its mighty victories,  
how to ward against  
its many enemies.

Thor didn't _understand._

They had been raised on  
stories of the evil Jotun.

Thor had only done what  
Odin himself had done,  
what had been praised  
so many times before --  
seeking glorious battle.

Loki had tried to talk him  
out of it, and _that_ hadn't  
won any approval either.

No matter what they tried,  
their father always seemed  
to respond with disapproval.

It was a crushing blow.

Thor winced away from  
the bitter memories.

He had been stripped  
of his rank and powers,  
publicly humiliated, and  
then cast out of Asgard.

He could still feel the ache  
of it where Odin had ripped  
Mjölnir away from him, like  
an old break badly healed.

Thor had met Jane, loved her,  
and then lost her too soon.

There had been battles, but they  
no longer felt glorious to him.

His brother was now  
an outcast, imprisoned  
and beyond reach.

Yet their friends ...  
hardly seemed to notice.

Thor gazed down upon  
yet another feast and  
struggled to feel interest.

When Sif came up to him,  
urging him to join them in  
their revels, he gave her  
a false smile and pretended  
that everything was fine.

It was not fine.

Thor knew it all too well,  
because he had suffered  
bouts of melancholy before,  
but now there was no Loki  
to bring him joyflower tea  
and jolly him out of it.

What was the point,  
anyway? They may have  
gone a bit too far, but they  
were only doing what  
they had been _taught._

Princes of Asgard were  
meant to be warriors,  
to be bold and fierce,  
to take what they wanted  
and wreak havoc upon  
their hapless enemies.

If that wasn't what Odin  
wanted of them, then why  
had their tutors harped on it?

Why were past battles painted  
in lapis and gilt on every wall  
and ceiling in the palace?

If the Allfather wanted  
something else of them,  
then why hadn't he just  
_asked_ for that instead?

They would have given him  
the sun and the moon if  
only he had asked them.

They would have done  
anything to gain his approval,  
if would just give him a hint  
of what he really wanted.

Instead, all they had to show  
for centuries of education was  
disapproval and punishment.

Thor knew that he was unworthy,  
would never really be worthy,  
even if he could once again  
lift Mjölnir in his hands.

It didn't matter.  
Nothing really mattered.

Thor looked down at the feast,  
sighed, and went back to  
his own quarters.

He didn't understand.

**Author's Note:**

> "Thor Odinson... you have betrayed the express command of your king. Through your arrogance and stupidity, you've opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war! You are unworthy of these realms, you're unworthy of your title, you're unworthy... of the loved ones you have betrayed! I now take from you your power! In the name of my father and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!"  
> ― [Odin to Thor](https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/Odin/Quote)
> 
> In Love Is For Children, I posit Thor's equivalent human age as 18, because of the majority ceremony in his first movie; and I estimate Loki's age around 16 because he's notably younger but still close enough they can relate to each other. This is similar to [calculations made by other fans](https://www.buzzfeed.com/andyneuenschwander/someone-figured-out-how-old-thor-and-loki-are-in-human) using various methods, which cluster around the idea that Thor is a very new adult and Loki still an adolescent. This explains so much.
> 
> [Depression](https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-conditions/depression) is commonly caused by [child abuse](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200305/child-abuse-and-depression), [trauma](https://secure2.convio.net/dabsa/site/SPageServer/?pagename=education_brochures_coping_unexpected_events), and other things. [Thor](https://marvel-movies.fandom.com/wiki/Thor_Odinson) is canonically depressed according to his character entry. He also shows [signs of it](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-symptoms-and-warning-signs.htm) in several of the movies, such as staring glumly into the distance or hanging back from festivities. There are ways to [cope with depression](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm) or [help someone else through it](https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/helping-someone-with-depression.htm).
> 
> [Children](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/child-abuse) and [teens](https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/family-abuse.html) can be abused in various ways. [Odin's A+ Parenting](https://www.themarysue.com/marvel-bad-dads/) is notorious in fandom for such things as [moving the goalposts](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moving_the_goalposts), [stealing/destroying property](https://www.partnersforpeaceme.org/economic-abuse-and-domestic-violence/), [humiliation](http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/humiliation.htm), [isolation](http://peacefulparentsconfidentkids.com/2015/02/teenagers-dont-talk-to-their-parents/), and [other toxic behavior](https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/5/). Understand how to [heal from childhood abuse](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201804/9-steps-healing-childhood-trauma-adult) and [help someone else to recover](https://www.bridgestorecovery.com/blog/help-partner-childhood-trauma-recovery-journey/).


End file.
